Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize