How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
