Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize