I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
