matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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