Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Ladies don't puke and tell
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Randomize
