I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Randomize
