Your face is a jimmy john
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
