So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize