you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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