I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
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