Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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