i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
