Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize