How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
