Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
