You did not just play the dead husband card again.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
