I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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