Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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