i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize