she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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