HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I believe in your delicious
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
