just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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