arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
