Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
