I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
