My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
