i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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