i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
