Sry I called you an 8
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
