Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
