I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Randomize
