Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
