yo everyone went to the hospital last night
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
