ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
