We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
