Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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