Im at strip club and am horny
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Randomize
