I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Randomize
