marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize