as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
