i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
