just come out here and I will go home with you...
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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