I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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