That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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