what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Randomize
