Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
