took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
It's shark week go big or go home
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Randomize
