Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Randomize
