All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Randomize
