Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
