I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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