a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just found a bag of teeth...
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
