i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
