I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
