I think I won the penis lottery.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
