First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
