Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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